


and he said, "this is morbid,"

by edoranpo



Category: Haikyuu!!, 同級生 | Dōkyūsei
Genre: Angst, M/M, based on the manga and movie adaption Doukyuusei!!!, i think, iwaoi - Freeform, unless im still really confusing with writing ok, you dont need to watch it to understand this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 13:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7055341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edoranpo/pseuds/edoranpo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At that point, he imagined the whole universe laughing at his luckless stride of falling in love.</p><p> </p><p>Doukyuusei!AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. forgotten lunch box

**Author's Note:**

> i know the title sucks ok

Oikawa never forgot anything on the first month of being seventeen, actually. All he had in his lightweight bag was an extra mechanical pen and a single notebook he doesn't even remember having, and for that, he never goes back into the classroom for anything. But somehow, on a back-fired summer when everyone already left and the sun didn't look like it would set any time soon, Oikawa forgets his lunch box. He liked thinking of it as the universe playing tricks, or time molding out Oikawa's edges; trying to make a fool out of him. Which, whatever entity it was, truly did make a fool out of Oikawa Tooru.  
  
You know when things happen when the heat gets to you? When your eyes get all hazy and your legs are tired, but you keep running towards an empty, non-expectant classroom just to attain your forgotten lunch box. Your breathing gets hitched and you stop in front of the class door coated with cracks, just because it all felt like an instant, just because the world felt like it wouldn't stop.  
  
Oikawa knows all of that. And on the other end of an incoherent summer day, was the voice of Iwaizumi Hajime fumbling with the lyrics of their school hymn.  
  
At that point, he imagined the whole universe laughing at his luckless stride of falling in love.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You're never late for practice, Oikawa. What happened?"  
  
Oikawa runs out of things to say. And tries remembering everything that happened. Like that single feeling, when the world felt like it wouldn't stop - and how amazing it was.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Iwaizumi Hajime was known for always being first ranked in everything. His grades and his athletic ability, he's what the girls would call perfect and what the guys would call annoyingly boring. For homeroom classes, they were supposed to sing along to the school hymn for a performance on the nearing cultural festival.  And sitting right beside Oikawa, was the inaudible Iwaizumi Hajime that looked like he was better off somewhere else; rather than singing or preparing for so much as nothing.  
  
Oikawa guessed he was that kind of guy that didn't care and just did everything on his own pace and own time. But his buttoned up blouse and neatly ironed pants suggested otherwise. But singing, Oikawa frowned, was just too impractical for someone that had everything planned, he guessed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
And he was wrong.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oika . . . wa,"  
  
Iwaizumi Hajime knew his name, for the few seconds that Oikawa Tooru felt like he invaded a world that he was definitely uninvited to. Opening that scratchy classroom door might've been one of Oikawa's big mistakes, though in the contrary, Iwaizumi's wide eyes and newly agitated expression was definitely worth seeing. Especially hearing his voice, somehow stuttering and missing a few notes - Iwaizumi Hajime's voice that had broken apart Oikawa's name.  
  
"Y- Yo." Oikawa mutters, oxygen still barely going through his own lungs. Iwaizumi nods in exchange, and goes back to staring at the school hymn's score sheets. And it was then that Oikawa started thinking about it; Iwaizumi Hajime's quiet demeanor, and the many times that he hasn't ran back to the classroom after dismissal. Iwaizumi Hajime's averting eyes and his clean desk that sets him apart from everyone else. Like a blue rose along so many red ones.  
  
Perhaps, could he not read notes?  
  
Maybe because it was summer that Oikawa lost his mind. Or something along the lines of an excuse, would've been better. But Oikawa never holds back on anything; when it's quiet and the whole sun swallows the classroom, pouring it down with half-choked sun rays, Oikawa settles himself on his grubby desk, surprised that it could handle his weight - and Oikawa Tooru finally says something so stupid and impractical, that he really did feel the sun rays choking his gut.  
  
So stupid.  
  
"Want to, w- want to meet up?" There was a pain in his chest and a collision with his own voice.  
  
"I- I could teach you about singing the hymn before the cultural festival,"  
  
It felt like he invaded a world that he was definitely uninvited to. Like he saw someone on the brim of tears and just one push could fix it all - but he wasn't allowed to push such a fragile thing. But when everything's been said and done, Oikawa finally finds breathing a little easier after a while. And the inaudible Iwaizumi Hajime was left beside him, score sheets in hand, lips separated. And what Oikawa felt like at that time, was as though he was being yanked into that world on his own impatient will.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Iwaizumi never fumbled with his words by that point.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oikawa? What happened? Hey? You look like you're about to die!"  
  
That's right. Oikawa was in the process of dying, by that point.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_How the fuck can an eighteen-year-old boy be so cute?_


	2. it hurts the most

Sometimes it was by the roof, or in the classroom after dismissal, or by the back of the courtyard. Wherever, really. They didn't mind. It was like they used the score sheets as an excuse and just went with it. The papers that had messily written, unamused notes on them, were the only connection that they were bound to; lyrics of a song and voices that didn't mean much. When Oikawa sung first and Iwaizumi followed, it didn't mean much, maybe, but it had struck him to the point that it was all he'd remember before sleeping.  
  
While sleeping.  
  
After sleeping.  
  
All day.  
  
When they meet up on these different places, Oikawa closes his eyes and turns himself in for the worst. Because now and then he'd lose his breath and he'd lose the way things made sense, and his eyes just followed Iwaizumi's lips, moving continuously, hearing his voice coil between the gaps of thin air. Everything that involved Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa would sense. Everything. Every move. It was all in the matter of sensitivity, and he didn't know why.  
  
It was the worst.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Perfect,"  
  
It became a daily thing. A secret, perhaps. Because the feeling Oikawa gets when the sun starts to sulk into the orange tinted skies, like sparkling soda and melting ice cream, was so timid and inadequate. You never know when it'll go away and pull you right back in. Similar to a wish, he thought. Like a wish upon a star, you'd like to keep it all to yourself for it to remain a wish - for it to stay special, and for it to be granted.  
  
Oikawa doesn't know a lot of things about himself these days; but now and then, his heart sinks in and pops out, hiccuping and pushing itself in his throat. _Swish, zoom, boom._ Oikawa's heart was like that, feeling like it was waiting. Not knowing what would come. While in the midst of not knowing, right before Iwaizumi shoves the score sheets inside his bag, there's always one thing Oikawa knows for a fact, and it was screaming, ticking by under his voice.  
  
Oikawa was starting to wish for something.  
  
Not upon a star. Not upon anything, really. Just upon Iwaizumi Hajime, and the outline of his broad back that was slowly walking away from Oikawa's reach.  
  
 _I wish you won't leave._  
  
  


  
  
  
  
Oikawa's words often just slip out of himself. He asks a bunch of things and suddenly, it backfires on him. He's taken tons of stabs to the back, but this one, this somehow . . . this somehow hurt the most.  
  
"Say, did you . . . did you work so hard like this for Hara-sen?" Oikawa's quiet voice mixing in with the immersing silence made his words almost be unable to be understood, and yet, Iwaizumi was so close that he could feel Oikawa trembling on his own - that he perfectly understood everything the usually ecstatic Oikawa had said. Though, on those specific seconds, Oikawa was not ecstatic, and even while Oikawa got to see such a new expression on Iwaizumi, he does not laugh. On those specific seconds, there was a burning image on his mind, almost like a memory he never even experienced.

Iwaizumi loving another person. A person that was not him.  
  
The fuzzing lemon soda rolls away from Iwaizumi's hold and everything was hidden under the dark after that, like they had one excuse after another just to stow away for once from the sun, from the counting days, from the biting summer that made this, this thing; them. To run away from the summer that made them begin like this.  
  
"It's fine- it's fine, Oikawa, I'll get it myself-"  
  
Soft hair. Soft lips. Right under Oikawa's touch. Like everything melted all at once, though it really felt like that.  
  
 _Ah, so this was a kiss._  
  
Oikawa's running footsteps overwhelmed the silence of it all, and Iwaizumi's voice that called out for Oikawa tried beating it. But Oikawa didn't look back and kept running away; _swish, zoom, boom_ , his heart kept popping and inverting itself inside-out, and Iwaizumi didn't run after him.  
  
Maybe that was their biggest difference from the start.  
  
  


 

  
  
  
  
In the end, Iwaizumi never said anything back; not an agreement, nor an objection.  
  
Oikawa's head was full of nothing but a single voice roaring inside, waiting to burst; _it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts the most._

**Author's Note:**

> ++this was supposed to be a oneshot but then oh m y god i wrote lengthy stuff so i decided it would be chaptered???


End file.
